The god of football

What if I told you that you were watching the greatest NFL player to ever live and you didn’t even realize it?

The NFL is obviously a complicated game, some positions are worth way more than others as evidenced by the way they are paid. Dak Prescott is going to get $60 million this year to play quarterback for the Dallas Cowboys. He is hardly considered the best player in the league; Patrick Mahomes, Lamar Jackson, Josh Allen … the list goes on when looking at players a franchise would likely rather have. And while Prescott does have some illustrious awards to his name, looking all-time, most people would probably consider fellow Cowboys Quarterback Troy Aikman better. They would almost certainly also take a Tom Brady or Peyton Manning over Prescott. Clearly, measuring people by monetary value is a bad and rather sad way of looking at the world.

But in the way that some positions are worth more than others, many other positions require different skills than others. It’s why I will always be a proponent of Devin Hester, an electric Chicago Bears returner, going into the Pro Football Hall of Fame.

Typically, return men are kind of an afterthought on an NFL roster. Currently, only a few current NFL teams actually pay a semi-legitimate return man, usually it’s just assigned to somebody that can catch kicks and has other uses. Back to Hester though, if you successfully return more kicks to the end zone than anybody else in NFL history, well, shouldn’t you deserve a spot in the hall?

Canton only enshrines “exceptional figures” in the sport of pro football. Hester was undeniably an exceptional figure—he’s the only one in history to return the opening kick of the Super Bowl for a touchdown for god’s sake.

Prescott, on the other hand? The jury is still out. He may turn into one and may already halfway be one, but his best accomplishment to date is getting second in MVP voting in 2023. Good? Absolutely, but does it meet the criteria for exceptional? He couldn’t even best everybody in his own league, let alone all-time.

But what if there was a man that, to date, has obliterated his way by everybody in the history of the NFL and everybody currently in the league? What if he’s on the same team as Prescott? What if he makes around 50 times less?

Brandon Aubrey is nearing immortality.

He just hit a 64-yard field goal to send a game to overtime this weekend. Then, he followed it up with an “easy” 46-yard field goal to seal the win.

With quarterbacks, it’s complicated. You can grade them on their vision, their decisions, their movement, the accuracy of their throws, the strength of their throws … the list goes on.

With kickers, it’s not so complicated—at least in this instance. You want a kicker who can kick the ball exceptionally far and exceptionally accurate.

When looking at NFL players, oftentimes, you take a sacrifice. You’ll draft a guy like Anthony Richardson, who can throw a football exceptionally far, in the top five of the NFL Draft with the hope that can develop his accuracy. Alternatively, perhaps you live with Drew Brees knowing that his accuracy will lead you to a Super Bowl, even if he doesn’t make ESPN’s top 10 regularly.

With Brandon Aubrey, sacrifices are non-existent. Typically, to be qualified for the all-time field goal percentage kickers leaderboard, you need 100 attempts. Aubrey is at 91. Barring a historic collapse, which he has shown no signs of, Aubrey is very likely to join that board as its leader. His current field goal attempts made percentage sits at 90.1%, a full percentage point above the next kicker. He is the most accurate kicker in NFL history.

That in and of itself is a phenomenal and grand accomplishment, but to understand the magnanimity of that situation, you must look deeper.

Not only is he the most accurate kicker in NFL history, he’s also successfully kicked the most 60-yard or more field goals in NFL history. He’s attempting the most egregious shots and is still the most accurate man on the face of the planet.

He has kicked the second and third longest field goals in NFL history with seeming ease. In preseason, he also tied the record for the longest NFL field goal at 66-yards, but that does not count in official statistics.

There was a time in the NFL when 60-yard field goals were unthinkable and when 40- or 50-yard field goals were a hit or miss chance. In 1982, Mark Moseley won the NFL MVP award despite never making a kick over 50 yards. He went 20 of 21 with his longest registering at 48-yards.

There is only a small section of kickers in Canton and someday, Brandon Aubrey is set to join them as the greatest of them all. In the meantime, enjoy the show. When the Cowboys face off against the Bears Sunday, their greatest advantage has nothing to do with Prescott. Instead, the question is: Can Prescott get them to the logo at midfield?

The fantasy football team

Back in the day, I used to play fantasy football A LOT. These days I’m a one-team kind of guy just playing in my mother’s league. I’m not willing to let it take up too much of my life anymore, but it’s still rather fun (or infuriating).

Here’s a look at the squad we drafted:

QB: Joe Burrow

Last year, I took Tua Tagovailoa late and, well, you know what happened. I had Malik Nabers, Rashee Rice, De’Von Achane, Tua, etc. We absolutely won some games by big margins, but Tua got hurt, Derek Carr got hurt … we ended up limping to elimination from the playoffs with a game or two left in the season and finished in the middle of the standings.

This year, I decided to fix all our QB woes by drafting QB Joe Burrow early. I had Burrow at QB3 on my board. Umm … that’s gone terribly. R.I.P. Joe. One of my absolute favorite QBs in the league; I had no doubts about him, but the injury really sucks.

We’re in panic mode at QB, will update you later. There will absolutely be some trade proposals going out this week once Yahoo lets me do them, but I’m also halfway content to wait.

HB: Achane, Chase Brown, Travis Etienne Jr., Quinshon Judkins

I thought Chase Brown was kind of a way to ensure I got points out of the Bengals offense, if Burrow didn’t perform. Like not a stack, moreso a way to mitigate damage. Unfortunately, that has all fallen apart. I initially considered Brown a steal in the draft and untouchable; he’s now on the block because this team feels weak and we have another HB outshining expectations. If I can get a top-tier QB for Brown, he’s probably gone. Granted, I feel the QB market is too high right now, so I want to wait a week before I try anything drastic.

I figure the objective strategy in a 3 WR, 2 RB, 1 non-super flex league is that you want a fourth WR. I think I smartly broke the rules and won because of it this week. Etienne got the start in the flex.

Obviously, this injury luck has been absolutely brutal with Burrow going out for most of the fantasy season, if not all, and me having no backup QBs on the roster. But, I had no idea Tank Bigsby and Adam Thielen were getting ready to get traded. That was a major boost to this team. I kind of just took Etienne because I didn’t think Jacksonville Jaguars were as bad as some people were making them out to be and it paid major dividends. I don’t think Etienne is a league winner, but with my QB going out, he gives me the flexibility to trade Brown and be ok.

WR: CeeDee Lamb, Garrett Wilson, Tetairoa McMillan, Calvin Ridley, Rashee Rice, Matthew Golden, Luther Burden III, Jayden Higgins, Brandon Aiyuk

This is an incredible troop. My no. 1 philosophy is to get good WRs and I think I did that ok. Aside from Rice, I do worry I have a lot of really good receivers on bad teams. Like that’s probably the biggest concern, but my thought process is if they’re trailing every second half, the offense should be throwing a lot, which should inherently benefit me? Like Wilson was at two points after halftime last week and then got up to 10 because what could the Jets do besides throw the ball?

I don’t feel super comfy in the WR corps, but I’m ok with it. Big thing for me is with this QB injury, I’m fully willing to ship Ridley.

I also think Rice will provide a massive boost when the NFL stops suspending him.

The one scary thing is both Golden and Burden look terrible. I feel ok with McMillan, but beyond that my rookie WR plan is failing. I’m the guy that always takes a bunch of rookie WRs searching for a boon. Golden probably goes first in order of guys that need to be cut and, if I need to ditch a second, Burden, who really hasn’t played much, isn’t far behind on that list.

TE: Jake Ferguson, Harold Fannin Jr.

This is where things get fun. I initially drafted Kyle Pitts as my no. 1 TE with Jake Ferguson set to be the backup. I traded Pitts and Tyler Bass, Buffalo kicker, for Zach Ertz, Washington tight end, and Brandon Aubrey, Dallas kicker.

I’m currently sitting here thinking it's a pretty fair trade. Obviously, I feel bad Bass got hurt, but I think we’re both doing rather ok? Also, my leaguemates think I’m crazy, but like when you look at TE stats, I really think Harold Fannin Jr., who I dropped Ertz for, has a lot of potential.

K: Brandon Aubrey

Best kicker in the NFL playing for a team with a bad defense that must score a lot of points to win. To say I’m happy and I trust him is beyond an understatement.

DEF: San Fran

It was WAS week one and SF week two. Not really worth talking about. There is a specific website I use to determine who I stream every week and usually I do it after the waivers process. To me, defense is about the least interesting part of fantasy football.

OVERALL:

One of the conscious decisions I made when building the team this year was that we are not trying to go undefeated. We are trying to win the league. I’m ok with Rice and possibly Judkins being suspended.

Another conscious decision I made was to draft Burrow and never have to worry about the QB position again. That obviously failed us. Obviously, a ton of QBs got hurt lately so I don’t want to overreact and trade prematurely. If I can get Danny Dimes, I feel good, or if I can make a reasonable trade, I feel good. It’s not uncomfortable for me streaming QBs either, but I really think this team can persevere as long as we don’t get more injuries. It’s also just really nice being 2-0. I can afford a bad week or two waiting for Rice to get off suspension that a lot of other teams cannot.

This team was not built to win now, it was built to halfway win now with a focus on steamrolling people late in the year. As long as I get the QB situation figured out, we can absolutely do that.

Week 2: NFL

Last week I felt like I had a great lead in picking up Harold Fanning Jr., even if the league mates made fun of me for it.

This week, I don’t really see anything. I’m sitting at ninth out of 10, so I figure I tank it and try to improve my waiver spot for the next week.

It’s obviously crucial for me re: quarterback, but I’m ok losing this week since I really can't beat anybody but no. 10 to waivers and I know he’s not going to pick a QB (I’m possibly trying to get a QB from him via trade).

I will say, if you want league advice:

I have Brandon Aiyuk stashed and I fully believe in putting him on your IR. If you have to keep him on the active fantasy roster, it gets more tricky, but could still be worth it depending on how deep the league is and how good your bench looks. Obviously, I hesitate to start him until Purdy is back.

Cedric Tillman is an ok addition for me. Like, at this point, I would rather have him than Golden, who I have. I will say, I’m sitting on Fannin and Judkins and am not starting them until I see something better in Cleveland. For me, this is a long term stash and I’m not really willing to throw a third Browns player on the bench. But if you do not have Fannin and/or Judkins, I think this is a viable add to wait and see if this offense gets it together.

Elic Ayomanor. I’m tempted to straight up drop Calvin Ridley for this man, but obviously I am trying to trade Ridley, so I don’t want to say that upfront. If you’re in desperate need of a spot start, I think Ayomanor is probably your best choice. I also think he’s the no. 1 WR in this Tennessee offense and absolutely deserves a roster spot. I would be ok with him spot-starting and I absolutely think he needs to be rostered in any leagues 10+. As bad as Cam Ward has been looking, he is the No. 1 target in Tennessee and that makes him a valuable asset. Plus Tennessee will inherently get better as life goes on.

Jayden Higgins. I have zero faith in the Houston Texans or anything of the sort, but you know I love my rookie wide outs. I have him on my team’s roster and I would take him over Burden or Golden at this point. He’s purely just a stash and hope he gets better at this point, but he’s at least showing some signs of life.

Jaydon Blue. I did not draft Jayden Blue in fantasy, but it was purely because I was not presented the opportunity, not because I didn’t want him. If I have him, I would keep him and if I do not have him and somebody else dropped him, I would grab him. I would like to think at some point Dallas realizes who the better back is? Granted, they have been known to do very long things for very long times.

Keenan Allen. I figure he must be sucking Justin off or something. He runs routes like he’s washed, he acts like he’s washed, yet, somehow, he keeps catching passes. I struggle to know what to make of the Chargers right now and I’d only be halfway confident starting Allen, but I think he is absolutely worth a bench spot.

Wan’dale Robinson. I figure the Cowboys defense is atrocious and Robinson and Wilson had an insane start. I don’t think any sort of sustained fantasy projection will happen, but if you’re desperate, sure, you can start him.

Tyler Allgeier. I love him as a spot start, if you’re in desperate need of somebody who can get you fantasy points, I’m all for it. Long-term, I’m iffy, but I think he’s a better roster than a lot of running backs in this league.

Blog Post Title Four

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